Warning: a real post coming. No sugar coating.
Last week I couldn’t find my book. That’s how organized I am. This week, my brain is flying a million different directions. My husband just changed jobs in an unexpected and amazing way. He went from a job he loved and thrived in to a job that has God’s fingerprints all over it but so much unknown and excitement.
And I’m struggling. I want to live the life of freedom that I know God has called me to and created me for, but as I look at all the newness and uncertainty, freedom is the last thing on my mind. Instead, I feel an entirely new set of expectations, constraints and pressures. Rereading chapter seven couldn’t have come at a more important time.
I want to live the life described by the quotes I pulled out. Quotes like this:
and this:
And instead I find myself trapped back in the cycle of expectations, which makes me feel anything but free. And because those expectations are so unknown and amorphous, I feel the pressure amped even higher.
This isn’t where I want to live. I want to be a wild woman because:
- A wild woman is secure in her identity because her eyes are on the Lord.
- A wild woman is soft to her need for the Gospel and open to correction from God and others.
- A wild woman doesn’t toil; she works from approval, not for approval.
- A wild woman is able to hear the cry of a hurting world.
- A wild woman speaks the native language of her Father–life.
- A wild woman doesn’t see life from a place of lack.
- A wild woman runs hard and fast, without baggage.
I’d love to say that right there is my life. But this fresh season is putting another mirror up to my face and showing me how far I still have to grow. I want to find my gateway to that freedom that I know God has for me. So excuse me while I go find my red lipstick and destroy another box I’m put myself and God inside. He is bigger, and in Him, I can live that free life I long for.
How do you step into the freedom you know God has for you? If you don’t understand that freedom, how can I pray for you this week?