As a writer I have this quirk…it might be one you have, too. My mind constantly spins with what-ifs. If my husband is late, I wonder what-ifs…and they’re rarely positive. I wonder what-if so and so wins the election. What-if such and such happens when we travel? Did you know I seriously clean the house before we leave so that if something happens on the trip, there is less to do for those who come behind. How morbid is that?!?!

But if I can be brutally honest with you? This year I’m on a different sort of what-if journey: What would life be like if I audaciously loved God? If you’ve been on the Grove, then you know that I have loved God my entire life. But the last year or two there’s been this unsettledness inside for more. That I don’t want to settle for a good life…but long for a transformational life.

Maybe you can relate.

And this journey was spurned by two books by authors I love: Audacious by Beth Moore and If by Mark Batterson. Both authors have had a large impact on my spiritual walk. I’ve intentionally read Audacious slowly and have If primed to read next.

One of the principles from Audacious I am forcing myself not to rush past is what Jesus told the Samaritan woman in John…if you only knew the gift God had for you… That is resonating with me on such a deep level right now.

There are so many things…If I only knew what God wanted to do if I abided fully in Him…If I only knew how He could bring abundant life to me…If I only understood how much more He has for me and how His plans truly are the best for me…If I only knew…

What if I allowed God to have more of me, all of me, the complete total package that is Cara Putman?

I’d love to think I’ve done that…but what if there’s more?

This is a question I think we all wrestle with. It’s also one my characters wrestle with. In Beyond
Justice, the book I’m editing right now, Hayden is wrestling with whether she can ever be enough on her own.

We know the simple answer to that. ..it’s impossible to do and be that on our own. But our world sure tells us we should. I have a necklace that reminds me I am only enough because He is. Jesus was enough. He is the all in all, the Alpha and Omega, the God who was, and is, and is to come. And in Him all what-ifs are answered.

Does God you have on a journey of whispering to your heart, If you only knew…you would ask Me?