In January, I received disappointing news from a publisher. It was one of those good rejections…the kind that said we’d love to work with you, but this book isn’t quite right yet. Lots of great feedback — which is so valuable. But still it was a no. A no that hurt after I’d let my heart hope that this was the right time.
Then a couple weeks ago, it looked like summer plans that we’ve had in the works since last fall were falling through….one of those God has to intervene or this is dead. I could see dreams spiraling toward death as I sat at my computer…stunned and if I’m honest…crying. Something I don’t do. Really.
I stared at my computer screen and kept asking God what He was up to. Then I had to go to church to lead a women’s Bible study — the timing was so ironic. After that I took a walk through the neighborhood, with more questions.
I’m still not 100% sure what God was and is up to. But I can tell you this…I have found a peace in the process.
He went out and killed one of His cows for us — you know one of those cattle on the thousand hills that He owns. That resurrected the summer plans and family dream while adding to the already pretty incredible testimony that will join the story.
Then I’ve got a proposal that’s about ready to go out with a couple of my favorite writing buddies. This project could be such a blast and ties back to my favorite time period. I wouldn’t have had time to pursue that if I’d been finalizing a contract.
God has reminded me through this process that He knew this spring was going to be crazy for us as a family and me personally. Teaching two new classes at the community college adds a level of complexity. Then there’s homeschooling. Gymnastics and the competitive season. Leading a Bible study at church. Dreaming. Trying to keep my head above water. Marketing my three spring releases.
Maybe He built this pause in to my schedule because He knows what happens otherwise. I won’t say no. Instead, I’ll find a way to do everything. So for now He built in a pause and I’ve reached a point of peace with that pause. I can’t wait to see what He has on the other side of this.
How about you? Do you ever since God building pauses into your days? How do you respond? Joy? Questions? Quiet faith?