Mother’s Day: Pain or Blessing?

Cara faith thoughts, Grief/Miscarriage, Parenting 1 Comment

With Mother’s Day later this week, I’m reminded of how painful Mother’s Day can be. It’s a holiday laced with immense pain for many . . . those who struggle to have children . . . those who had a bad relationship with their mother.Putman kids 2012-51 group

Then there are those who have lost a child. Those who wait with longing for a child they’ve been matched with but have yet to adopt.

My heart hurts for those who long to be mothers but aren’t. Infertility is so very painful. Before children and before my miscarriages and secondary infertility, I hated Mother’s Day. I knew I wanted to be a mother, just had to wait on the timing. Then my first two children came without thought or effort. But there’s a 4.5-year gap between our second and third children. A gap where two years were filled with the pain of longing for a child but not becoming pregnant. Beginning doctor’s appointments and tests. Then becoming pregnant to be followed by a missed miscarriage that led to a D&C. Circumstances I never imagined myself in. Then a long delay before our third arrived. The pain of each passing month. Of that Mother’s Day.

Maybe you find yourself in another position. You aren’t married or don’t have children yet. You’d like to, but the time hasn’t arrived. Or maybe you know you won’t have children. It was a choice or thrust upon you, but either way, you love your life.

Regardless of where we are in the mothering journey, all of us can mother the children God has placed in our lives. The world is filled with children hungry for an adult to see them, to know their name, and to communicate that they are important. Open your heart, ask God to open your eyes. Be willing to slow down long enough to connect with them at their level.

The smiles you receive make the moment so worthwhile!

And maybe God will redeem all that pain in ways that only He can. For me it was allowing our third to be born Mother’s Day weekend…a reminder that He sees, He know, and He cares.

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