Mother’s Day: Pain or Joy?

Cara miscarriage, Parenting 2 Comments

Putman kids 2012-51 groupIn the shadow of Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of how painful Mother’s Day can be. It’s a holiday laced with immense pain for many… those who struggle to have children… those who had a bad relationship with their mother.

Then there are those who have lost a child. Those who wait with longing for a child they’ve been matched with but have yet to adopt.

My heart hurts for those who long to be mothers but aren’t. Infertility is so very painful. Before children and before my miscarriages and secondary infertility, I hated Mother’s Day. I knew I wanted to be a mother, just had to wait on the timing. Then my first two children came without thought or effort. But there’s a 4 1/2 year gap between our second and third children. A gap were two years were filled with the pain of longing for a child but not becoming pregnant. Beginning doctor’s appointments and tests. Then becoming pregnant to be followed by a missed miscarriage that led to a D&C. Circumstances I never imagined myself in. Then a long delay before our third arrived. The pain of each passing month. Of that Mother’s Day.

Maybe you find yourself in another position. You aren’t married or don’t have children yet. You’d like to, but the time hasn’t arrived. Or maybe you know you won’t have children. It was a choice or thrust upon you, but either way, you love your life.

Regardless of where we are in the mothering journey, all of us can mother the children God has placed in our lives. The world is filled with children hungry for an adult to see them, to know their name, and to communicate that they are important. Open your heart, ask God to open your eyes. Be willing to slow down long enough to connect with them at their level.

The smiles you receive make the moment so worthwhile!

Comments 2

  1. Amen…..
    Having been blessed with 2 sons, dreaming of more….blessed with more….suffering 3 miscarriages & facing the posiblitly of no more….and blessed again with more children, my heart did a rollercoaster many times. I ache for the gap that marks our losses, I struggle when I name the age spans of my living children-skipping over telling some people that there WAS children there in those age groups- I just never got to hold them, and with some, I didnt bother-they would not have time to listen. Even now when age has decreed me too old…..I ache for wee ones….it is how God made women…to nurture, love, protect… Instead, God has blessed me with a Grandson! Life, love goes on! Thru it all…God is there…. I even feel guilty for greiving sometimes, because I have children…and some struggle with none…..but I do, and I will meet them again some day!

    1. Post

      Mother’s Day is such a mixed bag. Brings such joy yet shadowed with real pain. Praying that God will fill your empty spaces. Miscarriages are such a hidden — yet oh, so real — pain. And I struggle with the same thing. I have six children, but it’s easier to say four since those are the ones people can see.

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