Many of you know I had two miscarriages. It is part of my story (and the inspiration for Josie’s in A Promise Kept).

My first happened the day before our anniversary — I’ll never forget the pain and questions that started then and continued … in some way until today.

Then we had our third — after I almost lost her while I was in Texas at an ACFW conference. I’ll never forget the women who prayed for me when I desperately grabbed them (Tricia Goyer, Rachel Hauck, Colleen Rhoads Coble, and so many more. And Sue Lyzenga, my neighbor who God had there so I could be comforted as I cried and waited.)

Then as Eric and I were discussing whether our family was complete with three, I miscarried again. I was devastated. And after our fourth, we knew our family was complete.

I share this so that if you’ve had a miscarriage or stillbirth, you know you are not alone. I understand the ache in your arms and heart. The way you wonder what those children would be doing, who they would be, and the way there is slight comfort that some day you will meet them in heaven. I know the way going to Chick-Fil-A hurt your heart, and how you tried to celebrate with friends even as you wanted to weep. How sometimes you felt desperately alone and it took everything to take another step.

But you can do it. You can walk through the pain and heal. And you can have a testimony to share about how God met you in that dark place. That He walked with you and He collected your tears. That you weren’t truly alone, even when it felt so very cold and isolated.

And while your journey is different from mine, I am sorry, so very sorry.

+++

I’ve given Grieving the Child I Never Knew to many women since my miscarriages. It’s the one I wish someone had given to me. It’s a guided journal where the author shares some of what she experienced and guides the reader back truth while also assuring that it’s okay to grieve and be surprised by it some days. It may be helpful to you or to someone you know who has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth.