Raise you hand if you’ve ever had a day like that. Can you see my hand waving? I have so been there.
The day where I struggle to get out of bed. Then I struggle to keep my temper as the house seems to disintegrate around me. Or the kids pick at each other until I’m ready to cry uncle. Don’t get me wrong…I have great kids. Some of the best I could ask for, but they’re still…well…kids. Or the days I look with longing out the window and wonder what it would be like to see at least a couple of my children off on the school bus. Then there are the days someone asks me how to homeschool – with this look of expectation that just makes me want to laugh or cry.
I am human.
I make huge mistakes with my kids. I lose my temper. Wish I could recall words. Beg God to erase their memories or give them the grace to realize God is nothing like me. He is holy and perfect. I am not.
On those days I feel like a failure I cling to a few thoughts:
1) God chose me to be my children’s mother. Out of all the women on the planet at the time of their conception, He chose me.
2) I beg God for grace and forgiveness. The grace to see me through the tough days. And the grace of forgiveness on the days I fail.
3) I pray that He would cause my children to rely on Him rather than me. That they would say with David, that “from birth (they) relied on God… will ever praise You.” Psalm. 71:6
4) That God would help me slow down and adjust my expectations. Reality is I have 12, 9, 4.5 and almost 2 year olds. It is not as easy to accomplish things as it was when I had one or two. So I ask for the wisdom to see what I can really accomplish and to not squander my time. Sometimes being a mom simply isn’t efficient. Ouch!
How do you handle the days when you are certain you’ve failed as a mom?